您所在的位置:黃岡中學廣州學校 > 師生園地 > 家長學校 > > 孩子紳士、淑女是這樣培養出來的
                孩子紳士、淑女是這樣培養出來的

                去西餅屋買糕點,看見一位慈眉善目的老太太領著孫女在柜臺前結帳,小女孩看上去頂多有五六歲的模樣,為自己選了一杯巧克力蛋糕。結完賬,小女孩便迫不及待地抄起剛剛打包好的蛋糕想邊走邊吃,而老太太儼然換了一個人,怒目而斥道:“要么你選擇在這坐著吃完,要么就等回到家再吃,哪里有女孩子邊走邊吃東西的?平時是怎么教你的,都忘了?!”孩子一臉地不情愿,但還是老老實實地把蛋糕放了回去,最終選擇了做一個“淑女”。

                 

                到現在還能清楚地記起女孩那眷戀、渴盼的眼神。的確,率真本是孩子的天性,連我一個成年人面對美食都抵制不了誘惑,想盡早一飽口福,更甭提一個孩子了。可轉念又想,如果我們出門撞見的就是滿大街男孩女孩抱著蛋糕筒狂吞大吃,進入餐廳碰見的便是男生女生邊吃邊海侃神聊、唾沫橫飛,坐到車廂看見的都是男人女人魔鬼般地吞云吐霧,我們還會去怪罪這位老人嗎?紳士、淑女不是天生的,是“培養”出來的。在小說家亨利·詹姆斯生活的時代,彬彬有禮是文明人的標志,有人向他請教一個人應該怎樣度過自己的一生,他回答道:“人生有三件大事:第一、與人為善。第二、與人為善。第三、與人為善。”可見,在人的一生中,得體、幽雅、親善的舉止是多么的不可或缺。

                 

                或許有的孩子能信筆涂出個性鮮明的圖畫,明顯地顯示出對于比例和視角超常的理解;或許有的孩子能輕松心算出任意數字的累加之和,在數學、音樂或運動方面有天賦。但禮節卻不是與生俱來的,盡管它遠不像分數運算那樣復雜,也不像練習音階那樣單調,更不像打棒球擲快球那樣費力。它的獲取就在不經意的生活點滴積累和培養中,觸手可及。可是文雅的舉止卻會使人備受歡迎,更有魅力,給人留下更深刻的第一印象,足以讓人受用終生。

                 

                凱·韋斯特的《如何培養紳士》、《如何培養淑女》的每一章都分為:各種場合和群體中的禮儀注意事項、您知道您在培養一位紳士或淑女、父母必行、家中嘗試和幾點忠告五部分。涉及生活的方方面面,甚至每一個細節。每一部分都用生動具體的正反事例來類比講解如何正確引導孩子一步步踏入紳士、淑女的舉止行列,詳盡地教人怎樣教育自己的兒女(也提醒自己!)學做一個舉止文雅、與人為善的,既能把美展現出來又能把美傳播開去的紳士與淑女。

                 

                這兩本書為那些想要以身作則而又需要一些指導的父母們打開了一扇通往禮節文明的窗戶,對成年人和正在成長中的孩子都會大有裨益,畢竟,培養文雅的紳士、淑女舉止是我們一生的事業,小不為早,老不為遲。

                 

                    乖巧的小姑娘要……

                    在購物或其他公眾場合,她緊緊跟在父母身邊。

                    對雜貨店琳瑯滿目的商品,她不會什么都想要。

                    她不纏著父母或其他成年人給自己買東西。

                    她不隨便亂翻別人的東西,不亂翻辦公室的桌子或抽屜,不在換衣間的門檻下面偷看。

                    在銀行、郵局和其他進行交易的地方,她不在存款單或郵政地址表格上亂寫亂畫。這些表格由納稅人或顧客支付,具有專門用途,不包括在上面一遍一遍寫自己的名字。如果愿意,她可以撿丟在地上的干凈紙張,把它們放進垃圾桶。

                    在辦公室,未經允許,她不能復印自己的照片或者把廚房的食品洗劫一空。

                    在擁擠的等候室里,她把自己的座位讓給大人。

                    在等候室里,她不把所有的書籍或組合玩具據為己有,而只拿自己需要的,最后放回原位。

                    在公眾場合,她把廢棄物扔到垃圾箱里。小姑娘不把糖紙或用過的紙巾丟在等候室的椅子或銀行的柜臺上。

                    到劇院觀看演出前,她丟掉自己的口香糖。

                    電影結束后,她把自己的座位收拾干凈。

                    演出期間她安靜而專注地看到終場,不左顧右盼,也不昏昏欲睡。

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