您所在的位置:黃岡中學廣州學校 > 師生園地 > 學生專欄 > > 我校2014年“我手寫我心”首屆詩歌原創大賽一等獎作品(四)
                我校2014年“我手寫我心”首屆詩歌原創大賽一等獎作品(四)

                 四、高二年級


                ——蘇曼殊

                高二(3)班  李思睿  指導老師:曹月

                僧人

                一縷禪香

                木魚青衫窗邊人影

                 

                情圣

                萬般紅塵

                花前月下挑燈琴吟

                 

                戲子

                一簾帷幕

                臺前光鮮幕后冷清

                 

                學者

                萬卷文書

                雄心滿懷發人深省

                 

                他如此活著

                終究逃不過這滾滾紅塵

                 

                【點評】

                一縷情思半卷簾,一卷古意動心弦,花前月下徘徊憶,漫漫紅塵本是緣。你的詩句如風,一縷禪香縈著緣分的無奈。塵世的洪流淘盡多少英雄落寇,一曲悲歌,抒透人間萬般情愫,蕓蕓縱生,在追尋金錢、名譽、地位、榮耀、愛情……試問幾人能參透,誰又能洞悉這紛擾的現實。本詩于俯仰之間,一句“逃不過”給人以無盡人生唏噓感喟,發人深省,啟發讀者參透人生的玄機,啟示我們以一種超脫的態度,審讀了人世間光怪陸離的人生。(點評老師:甘吉霖)

                 

                我和春天有個約會

                高二(4)班  謝美欣  指導老師:朱建黨

                油菜花撲閃著眼睛,
                鑲嵌在山脊上,池塘邊,緩坡間。
                一望無際流淌的黃金,
                涌向云端,高于天齊。

                春風撫摸著我們的臉,
                蝴蝶扇動著歲月的輪回。
                是誰給風箏飛翔的心?
                是誰彈撥著春風的琴弦?

                蜜蜂呼朋引伴,
                在花叢間穿行。
                安適的風,浪子般游蕩,
                撫摸著古老的杉樹林。


                年輕的心啊,莫錯過窗外的畫卷,
                莫錯過春天的邀約。
                因為錯過,
                就是最大的過錯!

                 

                【點評】

                你以出神入化的文筆,唱響了春天的贊歌。信手拈來的春景,無不跳動著詩意的靈性。人間芳菲,春風拂煦,招蜂引蝶……你的詩就是一幅春光秀麗的畫卷,悅動人心,使人在陶醉于春光的同時,也在不知不覺中深深地被你那對春天、對生命的滿腔熱情所感染和打動了。(點評老師:甘吉霖)

                 

                無窮

                高二(2)班   方立  指導老師:曹月

                一二三四五

                數不完

                我想,數字是無窮的吧

                 

                化學、物理學、醫學、心理學

                學不完

                我想,知識是無窮的吧

                 

                醫院里

                負一層太平間陰森凄清

                頂樓的婦產科卻充滿生命的活力

                我想,生命的輪回是無窮的吧

                 

                太空間

                從原子到分子

                從地球到宇宙

                原子算什么小,還有質子、電子

                地球算什么大,還有太陽系、銀河系

                宇宙外天外有天

                啊,這個世界是無窮的!

                 

                【點評】

                言簡旨遠,好詩未必華麗。本詩用最平俗的語言道盡探索者海天獨立的蒼涼,宏愿無窮的豪情壯志。誰說白話詩就不能言盡意深?此曲與梁啟超的“世界無窮愿無盡,海天寥廓立多時”句有同工之妙,黃廣學子才情氣魄堪為國才。(點評老師:甘吉霖)

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