您所在的位置:黃岡中學廣州學校 > 師生園地 > 學生專欄 > > 我校2014年“我手寫我心”首屆詩歌原創大賽一等獎作品(三)
                我校2014年“我手寫我心”首屆詩歌原創大賽一等獎作品(三)

                三、高一年級

                 

                我能不能

                高一(3)班  姚越寧  指導老師:甘吉霖

                我能不能如一枚種子提前醒來

                當皮膚已被剝盡

                只留下來果核

                我敢不敢從堅硬的囚禁下

                越獄,重新投入泥土

                讓靈魂找到歸宿

                在春的懷抱里

                再次演繹生活的全過程

                從此我將以

                植物的形態展示自己

                借著一棵樹或一朵花

                活著,并美麗著

                 

                【點評】

                一枚種子的傳奇,演繹出生活的真諦。小到個人的成長,大到生活的經歷、人生的歷練,都是一部部傳奇,且都充滿詩意。(點評老師:曹月)

                 

                 

                 

                釵頭鳳

                高一(1)班  曾峻偉  指導老師:楊紅霞

                漫天雨,飄飛絮,一夜花白霜兩鬢。孤雁過,愁緒重,一片思心,盡是朦朧。痛,痛,痛!

                草尚青,人難憶,屢逢倩影在華胥。院庭空,倚高樓,杯酒雖盡,佳人無蹤。夢,夢,夢!

                 

                【點評】

                借用聲情凄緊的情曲“釵頭鳳”,抒寫日里夢中對親人的思念,可謂神形兼備,哀婉動人。(點評老師:曹月)

                 

                港灣

                高一(1)班  陳燊  指導老師:楊紅霞

                 

                殷紅的夕陽

                映紅了平靜無風的海水

                海鷗立在甲板上

                眺望遠處的炊煙

                那寧靜的港灣

                仿佛如母親般哄著漁船入睡

                那羞澀的港灣

                仿佛如少女望見戀人出海回歸而羞澀的臉頰

                那老舊的港灣

                仿佛如安詳的老人

                凝望著時代的波濤駭浪

                如果你心中的船迷茫了

                我愿做你的港灣 為你指引回家的方向

                如果你心中的船疲憊了

                我愿做你的港灣 在你最需要的時候

                陪你欣賞落日的余暉

                 

                【點評】

                夕陽、海水、漁船,落日余暉、婷婷海鷗、遠方炊煙,將我們帶入那溫馨、深邃、唯美的港灣。累了,可以休憩;病了,可以療傷;倦了,可以重溫當初的夢想。(點評:曹月老師)

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