您所在的位置:黃岡中學廣州學校 > 師生園地 > 語言文字工作專欄 > > 在書中尋找精神故鄉
                在書中尋找精神故鄉

                不論有多忙多累,每天最后的一件事,就是同自己心愛的書見一次面。只要打開它,我就仿佛看見了流水的影子,寂夜的星光和另一個真實的我。如果哪天沒去翻開過書,我就覺得這一天空落虛度,沒有一點精神。

                現實和白天有時是美麗而虛幻的載體,只要你仔細回憶起一些不經意的點滴就能察覺。過濾出生命底色的碎片,我并不堅韌,也并不超群拔俗。理想與現實是那么的遙遠,我的淺薄讓我痛苦不堪,我對書的眷戀成了我保存勇氣的唯一武器。

                一疊書在那里存在,沉睡者和沉默著,和我的思緒有一種默契。我隱隱地有一種沖動,想一口氣把他們咀嚼和吞沒掉。每次靜下來親近書,我都在盡我所能用自己的生命原力,將差異彌合,讓一切盡情地,蓬勃活潑地舞動起來。看似單薄或陳舊的小冊子,卻擁有著強勁有力的表達。

                讀書,是表達和離開自己的一種方式。讀思想的書籍像在仰望繁星閃爍的黑夜,讀心情的書像聆聽山泉歡快地嬉戲,讀往來人事的書像在欣賞相框里的流金歲月。

                書是我的靈魂我的知己,是我生命的另一種存在形式,我追尋她呼喚她。即使偶爾一次在逆境的寒風中裹緊被子,還是想起了她。讀書就是在梳理自己的羽毛,張開的翅膀像一本打開的書,每一根羽毛里都記錄著她的幸福和憂傷。在人生的路途中,有陽光大道,也有通幽曲徑;有懸崖飛瀑,也有小橋流水;有大樹參天,也有小草低吟。但我們常常匆匆忙忙趕路,才發現自己忽略了一路的風景。

                捧起書,如同為自己尋找繼續生存的理由和力量,拯救我萎縮即將被沙漠化的心。我讀書的最佳狀態一般是在深夜的燈光下。寂靜的我,獨坐在寂靜的夜,那些生活的影子便不期而至,眼窩里就會涌出淚水,翻閱更是愈見清明。這一切毫無辦法。

                其實,我很感激上帝的苦心安排,讓我與心愛的書在冥冥之中相遇。美麗的夢和美麗的詩一樣,都是可遇而不可求的,常常在最沒能料到的時刻里出現。那天,走進史鐵生的文字就像走進陽光平鋪地壇的那一刻。那一刻,一切都靜下來,表針再不為世界和我轉動。只有書,只有我,在時間的刻度上永恒。

                這時候,我想起了知己明代詩人于謙的《觀書》:

                書卷多情似故人,晨昏憂樂每相親。

                眼前直下三千字,胸次全無一點塵。

                活水源流隨處滿,東風花柳逐時新。

                金鞍玉勒尋芳客,未信我廬別有春。

                夜,黑漆漆的,一種深情、憂郁、包容而悠遠的色彩。我在潔白的燈光下,讀著黑格爾,靜靜地——面對這無法舍棄的眷念,我只有深深地把自己埋進去,去尋找那屬于自己的精神故鄉。

                【文/韓杰】

                 

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